The snake did, in fact, see active service in 'Nam. He fought on the side of the Viet-cong, and was actually my commanding officer at the fall of Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon as was)/ He carries, to this day, evidence of scarring (which some have commented on as looking remarkably similar to python's markings) across 90% of his body, the result of a typically selfless act of heroism, when, to save the other members of his platoon, he hurled himself upon a naked, napalm covered 10 year old female gook, who was running towards us , on fire, and screaming some incomprehensible gibberish. Furthermore, it is my belief that he still has the remains of an unexploded GI lodged in his oesophagus.
Turning to your query regarding Master Oswald, as we used to call him at prep school; it is a little known fact that simply hailing from the Birmingham area qualifies one as a "co-prince" of darkness (hence the term "Hail, Satan" - pronounced "All right shirt", in the local dialect). However, this privilege may be rescinded under certain circumstances; if, for example, the co-prince in question were to move out of the area for any reason, such as buying a great big fuck-off mansion in Beverly Hills, and re-selling his soul to the Devil.
This would appear to hold true in the case of Mr Osbourne; however, he cleverly unearthed, and made use of, an obscure loophole that restores all a Brummie's entitlements if he can provide proof of possession of an ugly, foul-mouthed witch.
Witch of course, he can.
Two, if you include the daughter.